Cruise Day 5 - Puerto Vallarta -Yo Ho a Pirate is NOT the Life For Me.

This was the port I was looking forward to the most.  We had a hard time deciding what excursion to do as there were several that sounded like so much fun!!!  We decided on this Pirate Ship one.  I was so excited about taking a Pirate ship to our own island and having options to snorkel, swim, beach volley ball, lounge around and read my book, all the while the kids were on a treasure hunt and played in the sand searching for sea shells.  I was in for a BIG disappointment!!! Not really the excursions fault, but my anxiety of throw-up getting the better of me. (if you haven't read about my fear of throw-up, you may want to click here) Now although I have huge fears of throw-up and fear of me throwing up, I do have a relatively strong stomach and have never thrown-up unless I am actually sick.  But of course I took precaution and made sure to take that Bonine medicine. So the pirate ship itself was ok, however the trip to the private beach was a two hour boat ride.  The pirates fed us breakfast and then put on a show...lame!!!  I was on pins and needles about throw-up, but could see everyone around me was doing fine and having fun. When we were getting close to the beach they announced to us that those who want to snorkel will have to take another 20 min boat ride and that the water conditions are not great, but they are not allowed to cancel the activity.  I immediately knew in my mind, I was NOT going to go snorkeling.  Matt of course was excited and nothing would hold him back from doing it. Then they announced that there are no bathrooms on the island.  I was already about to pee my pants, so me and Elena got up to go to the bathroom.  There was a huge line and as I was going to get in the line, I saw a girl throwing up in a garbage can.  My stomach hit the floor and me trying to brave just wasn't going to happen anymore. I told Elena sorry, we can't go to the bathroom right now.  In my mind every person in that bathroom was throwing up and that the bathroom was a mess.  Panic was in full swing now and I was just barely holding my self together. Matt and his mom had to go to the bottom of the boat and get their snorkeling gear and I was grateful that Matt's dad was there and could hold onto Cody's hand as the boat was so rocky that it would have been really hard to hold both kids hands and hold on to the stair rails and such. I was in charge of my two kids and my big old beach bag with 4 beach towels and water bottles and at the time one broken handle... later turned into two broken handles.  In order to get to the island we had to take a little fisherman tender boat.  Despite what the pictures show, the water was REALLY rough and we had to wait in line and take our turn getting on the little boat. It was quite an ordeal to get us all to the land and a couple of boats had some really close calls.  Matt and his mom went off and went snorkeling.  I was excited to get on the beach...until i saw how slanty the beach area was and how unpredictable the tide was.  There was still enough area to for the kids to play, but it was not ideal beach conditions in my mind.  I stood panicked watching Cody as he played happily in the waves as I held on to Elena's hand trying to control her desire to go out deeper in the water.  Two of my biggest fears were at stake...throw-up and drowning.  Oh ya...and there was also the fact that I still needed to pee. Remember...no bathrooms on the island. But I taught Elena how to be resourceful...she was a little less discreet than I was as she insisted that she move her swimsuit aside.  But to tell you the truth, I was past the point of giving a dang of what people might think.   The treasure hunt for the kids lasted all of 5 min and again...lame. Matt finally came back and they had a great time, which I was glad for, and super glad to have him there as he always helps me feel a little more at ease.  Then came the time to load back on the boat. The water was even more rough this time.  The little tender boats were beginning to fill with water and the pirate guys were doing there best to get people in the boat.  They literally pick up Matt's parents and put them in the boat.  I was starting to feel faint at times, I was so anxious more then I had ever been before.  Matt was a little bit freaked out that I was so freaked out..I just wanted to get helicoptered out of there, I did not want to get back on that boat.  Before I knew it, pirates swooped up the kids and put them in the boat and there was no way in BLEEP that I was going to be apart from them.  My adrenalin kicked in and I flew into that boat.  The waves were so big that the second we got in they all yelled at us sit down, and the our little boat took off with only being half-full and the driver still standing on to the outside of the boat.  We made it safely back to the pirate ship and got on. At this point I had to use the bathroom again...I figured that what ever had happened in there before had hopefully been cleaned up.  I took in deep breaths in and out and I went in.  To my surprise it was VERY nice.  VERY clean and not a bit of throw-up anywhere.  There was a lady in the bathroom and her job was to stand there and make sure it was always clean.  She was constantly mopping, sweeping and checking each bathroom as they were empty.  I felt a lot better after going in there and seeing that it wasn't this horrid thing I had imagined in my mind.   After we were all on the pirate ship they took us down stairs and fed us lunch... I had no appetite what so ever, all I could think about was people throwing up the noodles they just ate.  I couldn't even look at the food. I grabbed a Sprite and went back to my seat up stairs in the fresh air and tried to relax.  After lunch they did some fun games and that helped get my mind off things.  I kept my eye on my watch and was SOOO glad to see our cruise ship as pulled up to dock.  At this point I decided that I like cruising, but as far as excursions...I'd like to stay on the land.  And when I am doing an on land vacation...that would be the time to do some water activities.  So as far as Puerto Vallarta goes...It was VERY pretty and lush and I would love to go back there and see more of the town, but I will never do that pirate ship adventure again. Video of Elena dancing on a rocking boat...Oh Barf, I don't know how she does it but she sure is cute!!!